The Ugly

#1 Perk of working out:

I'm now strong enough to scoop my own ice cream without having to let it thaw for 10 minutes!

So, I'm feeling embarrassed. I started this blog because I was doing so well and feeling confident that I could help others in their own journey, or help people understand what it's like. Within a week of starting this blog I've failed. It's ironic and obnoxious. For 6 months I was triumphant, and now that people are reading about my experience, I'm failing. It's not just that for 2 weeks my weight loss has been sucky. Something in my head is snapping too.

So far this weekend I have eaten 2 pieces of cake, 3 cookies, 10 chocolates, a cup of m&ms, 1/2 cup of Nutella, 1/2 a Carmello candy bar, and a bowl of ice cream (that I had no trouble scooping because of my newfound upper body strength...) Fortunately, everything else I ate was healthy. Salads, vegetable soups, tuna sandwiches, etc. Plenty of lean protein and vegetables. What the heck is going on? I've come to the conclusion that I'm too tired. I wasn't eating enough calories the last 2 weeks. I may have PMS although it's a little early. My meds may need some adjusting. I need a vacation from EVERYTHING!

I'm starting to get those irrational self pitying thoughts like, "I give and give and nobody gives back."

And now that I've made so many poor food choices, the mirror is screaming, "Fat cow!" I have to keep reminding myself that chances are nothing on my body has changed for the worse, it's just my thoughts.

So I apologize that this blog has turned into a negative thing the last couple of weeks. It was not my intention. However, I did promise to be brutally honest, and I'm keeping that promise. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

Next week I'll look back on this and think, "Silly Girl, you just needed more sleep."